Dowcipy w kategorii Work/School
15 Signs You Forgot Secretaries Day
1. Phone messages delivered on end of spear. 2. Your important dictation somehow seems to blah blah...
Absent From School Excusess
1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 2. ...
Creative Answering Machine Messages
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually lo...
Driving Test Answers
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of...
Less Common Latin Phrases
Quo signo nata es? What's your sign? Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt. You know, the Ro...
Phrases for Work.
48 Phrases you wish you could say at work! 1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
Cheerleaders
Whats the most embrassing thing for a cheerleader? When she does the splits and 8 class rings fal...
Salad
Boss asks secretary "Do you know the difference between Ceasar Salad and a blowjob is?" "No", say...
A short poem for today.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can...
Bank Teller
This guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fuckin' checking ...
Be Poetic
"When a customer comes into the shop, be very polite to them and try to put a little poetry into it ...
COMMAND REDUCTION OF ARMY PERSONNEL ( C.R.A.P. )
As a result of DOD budget cutbacks, we are forced to reduce the size of the force. Under CRAP, older...
Deductive Reasoning
Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a mighty nice day to be moving." New Neighbor: "Ye...
Definition of a good date!
These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and all came home at ...
Don't Erase This
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis'...
English Lesson
The teacher of the fourth grade class was giving an English lesson: "All right class, I want ever...
He shouldn't have asked!
MR. SMITH got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and pretty. One day, while taking dict...
Here's Little Johnny!
A teacher in New York City wanted to see how many animals the city kids in her fourth-grade class co...
Here's Little Johnny!...
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it...
How shit happens!
In The Beginning was The Plan. And then came the Assumptions And the Assumptions were without fo...
Howe 2 right gud
Nowe u two can rite gud! Howe two rite gud Frank L. Visco Vice-president and Senior Copywriter ...
Human Resources Memo!
TO: All Employees FROM: Human Resources It has been brought to management's attention that some ...
Little boy learns arithmetic.
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black bi...
Little johnny at school 2
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a quest...
Little Johnny at School.
The teacher says, "Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use ...
Little Johnny's Lessson
One day Ms. Nelson, a kindergarden teacher, was giving a lesson on imagination. What she would do wa...
Mailmans Last Day
It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kind...
Morals of Story
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and th...
Multi-syllable words
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words...
One Drink too many!
After the annual office Christmas party blowout, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouth...
Overheard In Airplane
The huge Air Canada Jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport (Toronto) on its final approach. T...
Pick your sport carefully.
After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corp...
Preschoolers learn meat
A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different ...
Research paper excuses!
A college professor had just finished explaining how important it was that a research project be tur...
S.H.I.T (Special High Intensity Traning)
Special High Intensity Training - S.H.I.T. MEMORANDUM TO: All Employees FROM: Communications ...
Shiny New Motorcycle
An engineering student is walking on campus one day, when another engineer student rides up on a shi...
Smart little johnny
One day the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday she will...
Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.)
TO : ALL EMPLOYEES FR : MANAGEMENT SUBJECT : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING In order to...
Sweet Revenge
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, an...
Talk like an adult!
The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their c...
The Layoff
The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one o...
The morning after
Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utt...
The Unhappy Nun
The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting t...
To Be a Dog
An eminent teacher and thinker once expressed his philosophy of life: "When it all boils done to ...
Traveling Saleman.
Mr. Jones, upon returning from a business trip was shocked to find his wife in bed with a stranger. ...
Turkey and the Bull...
Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that t...
What A Party!
After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and ask...
What Gets Bigger?
Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Mi...
Who's The Boss?
When the Lord made Man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be the Boss. The Brain ex...
A Train and a Teacher?
What's the difference between a Train and Teacher? A train says, "Chew, Chew!" and a Teacher says...
Aggies
Do you know why the Texas Aggies use artificial turf in their football stadium? It helps stop the...
Driving Examiner
Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Never mind, you'll pass eventual...
Give 100%
ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK: 12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday 20% Thursday 5% Friday...
Mail carriers.
What kind of drugs are mail carriers not tested for? SPEED!...
Maths?
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil......
Pain Relief
A man walks in for a sale rep job. He is very qualitfied, but he has a nervous twitch, and his left ...
Signs
Sign on a brake repair shop in Joliet, Illinois, "We stand in front of our work." Sign on a muffl...
Some shorties...one rude
Q: Why did Smokey the Bear never have any children? A: When his wife got hot, he beat her with a s...
Tea Time
Something to ponder... Do the workers at the Lipton factory get a coffee break?...
U of Berkeley Products
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX This is not believed to be a c...
Xmas Like A Day At the Office
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit...
15 Signs You Forgot Secretaries Day
1. Phone messages delivered on end of spear. 2. Your important dictation somehow seems to blah blah...
Absent From School Excusess
1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 2. ...
Creative Answering Machine Messages
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually lo...
Driving Test Answers
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of...
Less Common Latin Phrases
Quo signo nata es? What's your sign? Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt. You know, the Ro...
Phrases for Work.
48 Phrases you wish you could say at work! 1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
Cheerleaders
Whats the most embrassing thing for a cheerleader? When she does the splits and 8 class rings fal...
Salad
Boss asks secretary "Do you know the difference between Ceasar Salad and a blowjob is?" "No", say...
A short poem for today.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can...
Bank Teller
This guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fuckin' checking ...
Be Poetic
"When a customer comes into the shop, be very polite to them and try to put a little poetry into it ...
COMMAND REDUCTION OF ARMY PERSONNEL ( C.R.A.P. )
As a result of DOD budget cutbacks, we are forced to reduce the size of the force. Under CRAP, older...
Deductive Reasoning
Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a mighty nice day to be moving." New Neighbor: "Ye...
Definition of a good date!
These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and all came home at ...
Don't Erase This
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis'...
English Lesson
The teacher of the fourth grade class was giving an English lesson: "All right class, I want ever...
He shouldn't have asked!
MR. SMITH got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and pretty. One day, while taking dict...
Here's Little Johnny!
A teacher in New York City wanted to see how many animals the city kids in her fourth-grade class co...
Here's Little Johnny!...
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it...
How shit happens!
In The Beginning was The Plan. And then came the Assumptions And the Assumptions were without fo...
Howe 2 right gud
Nowe u two can rite gud! Howe two rite gud Frank L. Visco Vice-president and Senior Copywriter ...
Human Resources Memo!
TO: All Employees FROM: Human Resources It has been brought to management's attention that some ...
Little boy learns arithmetic.
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black bi...
Little johnny at school 2
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a quest...
Little Johnny at School.
The teacher says, "Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use ...
Little Johnny's Lessson
One day Ms. Nelson, a kindergarden teacher, was giving a lesson on imagination. What she would do wa...
Mailmans Last Day
It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kind...
Morals of Story
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and th...
Multi-syllable words
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words...
One Drink too many!
After the annual office Christmas party blowout, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouth...
Overheard In Airplane
The huge Air Canada Jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport (Toronto) on its final approach. T...
Pick your sport carefully.
After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corp...
Preschoolers learn meat
A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different ...
Research paper excuses!
A college professor had just finished explaining how important it was that a research project be tur...
S.H.I.T (Special High Intensity Traning)
Special High Intensity Training - S.H.I.T. MEMORANDUM TO: All Employees FROM: Communications ...
Shiny New Motorcycle
An engineering student is walking on campus one day, when another engineer student rides up on a shi...
Smart little johnny
One day the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday she will...
Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.)
TO : ALL EMPLOYEES FR : MANAGEMENT SUBJECT : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING In order to...
Sweet Revenge
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, an...
Talk like an adult!
The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their c...
The Layoff
The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one o...
The morning after
Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utt...
The Unhappy Nun
The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting t...
To Be a Dog
An eminent teacher and thinker once expressed his philosophy of life: "When it all boils done to ...
Traveling Saleman.
Mr. Jones, upon returning from a business trip was shocked to find his wife in bed with a stranger. ...
Turkey and the Bull...
Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that t...
What A Party!
After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and ask...
What Gets Bigger?
Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Mi...
Who's The Boss?
When the Lord made Man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be the Boss. The Brain ex...
A Train and a Teacher?
What's the difference between a Train and Teacher? A train says, "Chew, Chew!" and a Teacher says...
Aggies
Do you know why the Texas Aggies use artificial turf in their football stadium? It helps stop the...
Driving Examiner
Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Never mind, you'll pass eventual...
Give 100%
ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK: 12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday 20% Thursday 5% Friday...
Mail carriers.
What kind of drugs are mail carriers not tested for? SPEED!...
Maths?
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil......
Pain Relief
A man walks in for a sale rep job. He is very qualitfied, but he has a nervous twitch, and his left ...
Signs
Sign on a brake repair shop in Joliet, Illinois, "We stand in front of our work." Sign on a muffl...
Some shorties...one rude
Q: Why did Smokey the Bear never have any children? A: When his wife got hot, he beat her with a s...
Tea Time
Something to ponder... Do the workers at the Lipton factory get a coffee break?...
U of Berkeley Products
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX This is not believed to be a c...
Xmas Like A Day At the Office
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit...