Dowcipy w kategorii Lawyer

Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't:
Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't... Have you looked through her briefs? He is one hard ...

Another Dumb Viagra Joke
What happens when you give Viagra to a Lawyer? He gets taller!...

Bill
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass!...

Bucket
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit? A: The bucket....

Cross With A Blonde
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer? A1: I don't know, there are some things ...

Gigolo
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A. A gigolo only screws one person at a tim...

Lawyer and a prostitute?
Whats the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A prostitute will stop screwin' you once...

Courtroom Chaos
A man accused of robbing a bank was tried for the final time and was found guilty. Just before he wa...

Drug Cure fer sure!
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. T...

Explaination
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first,"...

Getting a date.
There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date...

Giving up drugs!
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before th...

Lawyer Source
An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from ana...

Say That Again
It had promised to be a sensational divorce case, with the wife accused of incredible escapades. Tes...

Short Lawyer Jokes V
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? A: When a busload of lawyers goes of...

The 12 marriages!
A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, th...

The stranded lawyers!
Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months. The only other thing on the ...

Virgin
A mature woman was in the pastorial study counseling for her upcoming fourth wedding. "Father, ho...

14 Lawyer Quickies
Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from be...

Actual Court Sayings!
30 things people actually said in court Question 1. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th...

It's Against the Law to...
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding da...

Laws of Life
Katz's Law: Men and women will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities...

Lawyer Hunting Regulations!
NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200 ...

True Lawyer Statements
Amazing and true lawyer statements. Lawyers typically aren?t funny - unless by accident. Case in p...

1,000 lawyers...
What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? A good start!...

2 Bullets
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you ...

Conflict of Interest
Having lawyers create laws is like have doctors create diseases!...

Drowning Lawyer
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!...

Female Lawyer
Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? A: Lipstick...

Good Lawyers?
What is the difference between a good Lawyer and a great Lawyer? Answer: A good Lawyer knows the ...

Inventing Wire
How was wire invented? Two lawyers pulling on a penny....

Lawyer and Sperm
What is the difference between a lawyer and a sperm? At least a sperm has a one in one million ch...

Lawyer Stamps?
The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with pictures of favorite lawyers on th...

Out of a tree
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut the rope....

Road-killed lawyer
Q: What's the difference between a road-killed deer and a road-killed lawyer? A: There's skid mar...

Why do Lawyers smell?
Q: Why do Lawyers smell? A: So the blind can hate them, too!...

2 plus 2
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2 plus 2?" The housewife replies: "...

A lawyers tomstone
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, ...

An Old Man's Dying Request
An elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctor's only to find he didn't have long to live. So he ...

Attorney Hunting Rules
A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF ATTORNEYS 372.01 - Any person with a valid Calif...

Bronze sculptures
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the o...

COYOTE "vs" ACME
In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge La...

Early shopping trip.
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged ...

EMT response times.
Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team?s response time...

Eternal Marriage
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple...

Freedom Cost Him An Arm
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inser...

Get Me Another Lawyer
Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer. Judge: And why is that? Defen...

Giving
The most successful lawyer in town had never made a contribution to the Red Cross. The chairman of t...

Hard To Get
It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their ...

How Do You Feel?
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company r...

In divorce court!
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers ...

In the courtroom...
A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beatin...

Judges Award
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decid...

Lawyer at the Pearly Gates.
A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you ...

Lawyer at the Pearly Gates.
A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he s...

Lawyer hit by a car
A lawyer's car stalled on the side of the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter,...

Lawyer In Heaven (Classic)
A mechanical engineer died & went to heaven. Upon arrival Saint Peter checked "THE BOOK" and didn't ...

Lawyer's Translation
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in ...

Lawyer: Send Me
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch - he c...

Lawyers
A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his...

Lawyers
A man calls his lawyers office. When the receptionist answers the phone he asks to speak to Mr. Tayl...

Lawyers Abode (Classic)
Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that th...

Notice of a Class Action Suit
I was wondering if anyone else is having a problem with the Carbon Based Unit, Model # Homo Sapiens....

Pope and Lawyer (Classic)
The Pope died and went to heaven. When he got there, he found a lawyer in line in front of him at th...

Punishment
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulphurous pi...

Room in Hell
A self-centered, unbelieving man... ok a lawyer... died and was delivered into the devil's hands. "Y...

Short Lawyer Jokes I
The defendant who pleads his own case has a fool for a client, but at least there will be no problem...

Short Lawyer Jokes II
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drun...

Short Lawyer Jokes III
Q: Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? A: ...

Short Lawyer Jokes IV
It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets. A man walked in...

St. Peter
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead o...

Tasty Lawyer?
The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the ...

The Brass Rat
A man walked into a curio store and was looking around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and broug...

The Bunny and the Snake
A little blind bunny and a little blind snake met each other in the woods one day and, as neither of...

The Case of the Smoked Cigar
A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insure...

The Divorce...
A man was summoned to court for punching his lawyer. During the process, the Judge asked him to exp...

The kind lawyer!
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating g...

The Three Surgeons
Once there were three surgeons engaged in conversation. They got on the topic of their occupation a...

Ticket Please
Three lawyers and three engineers were traveling by train to the same meeting. At the station, the ...

Trust
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial --it went like this: ...

Two In One Grave?
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way t...

Up in Heaven
A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven. When they get there they are stopped ...

Valentine's Cards
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter me...