Dowcipy w kategorii For Kids
Elephants Jokes 4 Kids Galore
-How do you get down from an elephant? You don't. You get down from a duck. -Why did the elephan...
Halloween funnies for kids!
Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry? A. They're afraid of flying off ...
Pierced ears for pirates
How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced? A Buccaneer!...
Why did the boy...
Why did the boy take a ladder to school? It was a high school....
Why did the fish blush?
Why did the fish Blush? Because it saw the ocean's bottom....
Why did the...
Q. Why did the male sheep fall off the cliff? A. He didn't see the Ewe turn!...
Why is 6 scared of 7 ?
Why is 6 scared of 7 ? Because 7 ate nine!...
Will you rember me??
Hey bob,"Will you rember me tomorrow??" "Yes" "Will you rember me next week??" "Yes" "Will you r...
Witch
What do you call a witch at the beach? I don't know? A sand-witch!...
Yogi Bear
Q.Why is there only one Yogi Bear? A. Because when they tried to make another one, they made a Bo...
Knock-Knocks 4 Kids Galore
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Rita. Rita who? Rita book, you might learn something. Knock! Knock...
Throw Up!
Knock Knock. Who's there? Stan Stan who? Stan back or I'll be sick on your shoe!!!!...
The lady and her house
A lady went to bed and turned out all the lights. Later she awoke and heard a crash, instantly she d...
The Boy Who Thinks He's A Chicken
Girl to Doctor: Doctor, Help! My brother thinks he's a chicken! Doctor: How long has this been goin...
Orange and Banana
Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who?...
My Granny's Better!
Boy #1: Hey! Didja know that my grandfather was once face-to-face with a panther? Boy #2: That's ...
Let me out!!!
You're in a room with no doors and no windows, and all you have is a baseball bat. How do you get ou...
I'm A Chicken
Psychiatrist: What is your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has t...
Give the frog a loan
A frog walks into a bank and says "I wanna loan." "Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black's...
Be A Smoker!
Good News To All Smokers The International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes t...
Bad boy
One day there was a boy at school and his teacher told him to get 4 spelling words. 1st he went ...
Anna's mom....
Anna's mother has 3 kids... the youngest daughter's name is Penny... the middle daughter's name is N...
ABCP
On day there was a boy at school. He needed to go to the toilet. The teacher said "Say your ABCs fir...
ABC's
Student: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's. Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLM...
A duck
What does a duck like to eat? A quacker!...
A Shorty
Q. What is Black and White and Red all over? A. A Newspaper...
AMANDA!
WHAT ISA...
Another Chicken Joke
Why did the rabbit cross the road? - Chicken's day off!...
Ballerina
What did the ballerina do when she hurt her foot? She called the toe truck!...
Banana
What do you get when you cut a banana in two? A BANANA SPLIT!...
Black and White, and Red all over?
What is Black and White, and Red all over? Answer: A Skunk with a diaper rash....
Black Peas???
How did Black eye peas get their name? They were fighting over the Chick peas!...
Blue Elephants
1. How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. 2. How do you kill a pink elephant...
Bottom Start
Dad: The only way to acquire a new skill is to start at the bottom. Son: But I want to learn to s...
Cannibal and Clown
Q: What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal while eating the clown? A: "Does this taste fu...
Cars that Start
Can You name 3 Cars that start with P? Nope, they all start with Gas!...
Casket Talk
What did one casket say to the other ? Was that you coffin?...
Cat joke
What kind of cereal do cats eat? Mice Crispies! ...
Chickens
Two chickens were talking and one chicken said to a the other chicken "who is your favorite music co...
Cinderella
Why did the baseball coach throw Cinderella off the team? Because she ran away from the ball....
Clueless
Knock Knock Who's there? Ida Ida who? Ida know....
Count Down
What goes up when you count down? A Rocket Ship!...
Cow
What do you call a cow with no legs? GROUND BEEF!...
Cows Earthquake
Q. What do you get when a cow gets stuck in an Earth quake? A. A milk shake! ...
Crackers
Q:What do you get when a duck and a cow cross the road? A:Milk and Quackers...
Creation
Why did God give deers eyes? I have no eye-deer!...
Crew Cut
What do you call an Eagle Scout with a crew cut? A bald eagle!...
Cry Baby
Knock Knock... Who's There? Boo... Boo Who? Stop crying it's just a joke!...
Daffynition
Daffynition: Hummingbird- A bird who forgot the lines to a song!...
Door joke
When is a door not a door? When it is ajar....
Driving In Fog Riddle
Q: When driving through fog what should you use? A: Your car!...
Dwayne
Knock Knock! Who's There? Dwayne. Dwayne Who? Dwayne The Bathtub and I'm Dwowning!...
Ears
What kind of ear does a train have? an Engineer...
Elephant
What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? SWIMMING TRUNKS !!!...
Felines
Why are felines the best ever animals? Because they're purrrrrrrfect and grrrrrreat!...
Fish
Q: Why are fish in the sea smarter than animals on land. A: Because they travel in schools....
Fishy Talk
Q: How to communicate with a fish? A: Drop him a line!...
Flea Cure
Doctor, Doctor. Have you got anything that will cure fleas? Maybe, what made them sick?...
Football try-outs
Q: Why didn't the monster make the football team? A: Because he threw like a ghoul!...
Fruit joke!
What have an apple and an orange got in common? Neither of them can drive a tractor!...
Fruit of your Life
What did 1 strawberry say to another? Answer, if you weren't so fresh you wouldn't be in this jam...
Ghostly Giggle
Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie? Because you can see right through him....
Gum Crossing
Why did the gum cross the road? -it was stuck to the chickens foot!...
Heads and Tails
How is a dog's tail like the center of a tree? It's furthest from the bark!...
How do guys in jail.....
How do prisoners in jail talk to each other? With their cell phones!...
How do you make a tissue dance?
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it....
How many seconds are in a year?
How many seconds are in a year? Answer: There are 12 seconds in a year. January 2nd, February 2nd, M...
I'm a Dustbin
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin. Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish!...
I'm Hungry
Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry? A: Booger King!!!...
If a frog parks
Q. What happens when a forg parks illegaly? A. It gets toad!...
Jellybean
Why did the jellybean jump off the cliff ? Because he wanted to be a smarty!...
Knock Knock Biggish
Knock Knock Who's there? Biggish Biggish who? No Thank you! ...
Knock Knock Ketchup
Knock Knock Who's there? Ketchup Ketchup who? Catch up with me and I'll tell you!...
Knock Knock Wannup
Knock Knock Who's there? I wannup I wannup who? You do! I didn't need to know that!...
Knock knock... Luke
Knock Knock Whos there? Luke Luke who? Look through the keyhole and you will find out!...
Knock, Knock
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? DWAYNE THE TUB! I'M DWOWNING!...
Mayonaise
Q: What did the mayonsaise say to the refrigetrator? A: Shut the door, I'm dressing!...
Longest word
What's the longest word? Smiles! Why? Because it has a mile in it!...
Milk Truck
Q: What gives milk and has one horn? A: A milk truck!...
Mr. Clean
Did you here Mr. Clean is in the hospital? He has ammonia....
Mr. Owls
Knock knock. - Who's there? Owls. - Owls who? That's right! Owls hoo!...
Museum Funny!
Q: What did King Tut say to the museum? A: I want my mummy!...
New...
If you went to New York City for vacation and found eggs everywhere, what would the city's new name ...
Numbers
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!...
Nuts
Two Nuts Where Walking Down The Street. One Was A Salted! ...
One-eyed dinosaur
What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? A doyouthinkhesaurus!...
One-liners for kids
Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF? A: A watchdog! Q: Why do male deer need braces? A: Because t...
Panda Bear
What is black and white and red all over? A panda bear with diaper rash!...
Pantsy Golfer
Q: Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants? A: Just in case he got a hole-in-one!...
What's invisible & smells like carrots?
What's invisible & smells like carrots? Bunny Farts!...
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! (boom tish!!)...
What's the difference...
Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?? A: A teacher says "spit out that gum" a...
Which day does a fish hate?
Which day does a fish hate? Fryday...
Why Birds Fly South
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk!...
What kind of bunny.....
What kind of bunny drinks coffee? Mugs bunny!...
What do you call..
What do you call a guy who hangs around? Art!...
Turtle Crossing
Q: Why did the Turtle cross the road? A: To get to the shell station....
Tomato
Why did Mrs.Tomatoe turn red ? She saw Mr.Green Pea !...
Tired On 1 April
Why were the Scouts so tired on April 1? Because they had just finished a 31 day March!...
The Splatted Toad
Why did the toad cross the road? TO Show his girlfriend he has GUTS!...
The skeleton
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts!...
The rain cloud
What did the rain cloud where under his rain coat? Answer: Thunder wear!...
The Parting of the Red Sea
How did Moses part the Red Sea? With a seesaw!...
The Lettuce Joke
What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal? Lettuce alone!...
The Frustrated Bee
Why was the bee flying around with his legs crossed? He couldn't find a BP station!...
The Flashlight
Why did the little girl burry her flashlight? Because the batteries died....
The chicken
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!...
The Big Pencil
Question: What's the biggest pencil in the World? Answer: Pennsylvania!...
The Belt
Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants!...
The beach
How did the sand get wet? The sea weed!...
The Astronaut Joke
What did the astronaut see in his skillet pan? An Unidentified Frying Object!...
Stupid Elephant Jokes
How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the butter!...
Snowman and a vampire?
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frost-bite!...
Snail talk
Q. What did the snail say when he climbed onto the turtles back? A. WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
Smoking Dragon....
Q: What's the difference between the dinosaur and a dragon...? A: Dinosaurs are too young to SMOK...
Sleeping Bull
Q: What do you call a Sleeping Bull? A: A Bull-Dozer!...
Scary Seven
Whiy is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!...
Ribbet!
What is a frogs favorite drink? Croak-a-cola!...
Rabbit Catching
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up on him. Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit? A:...
Pirate Joke
What was the pirate movie rated? ARRRRRRR...
Elephants Jokes 4 Kids Galore
-How do you get down from an elephant? You don't. You get down from a duck. -Why did the elephan...
Halloween funnies for kids!
Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry? A. They're afraid of flying off ...
Pierced ears for pirates
How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced? A Buccaneer!...
Why did the boy...
Why did the boy take a ladder to school? It was a high school....
Why did the fish blush?
Why did the fish Blush? Because it saw the ocean's bottom....
Why did the...
Q. Why did the male sheep fall off the cliff? A. He didn't see the Ewe turn!...
Why is 6 scared of 7 ?
Why is 6 scared of 7 ? Because 7 ate nine!...
Will you rember me??
Hey bob,"Will you rember me tomorrow??" "Yes" "Will you rember me next week??" "Yes" "Will you r...
Witch
What do you call a witch at the beach? I don't know? A sand-witch!...
Yogi Bear
Q.Why is there only one Yogi Bear? A. Because when they tried to make another one, they made a Bo...
Knock-Knocks 4 Kids Galore
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Rita. Rita who? Rita book, you might learn something. Knock! Knock...
Throw Up!
Knock Knock. Who's there? Stan Stan who? Stan back or I'll be sick on your shoe!!!!...
The lady and her house
A lady went to bed and turned out all the lights. Later she awoke and heard a crash, instantly she d...
The Boy Who Thinks He's A Chicken
Girl to Doctor: Doctor, Help! My brother thinks he's a chicken! Doctor: How long has this been goin...
Orange and Banana
Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who?...
My Granny's Better!
Boy #1: Hey! Didja know that my grandfather was once face-to-face with a panther? Boy #2: That's ...
Let me out!!!
You're in a room with no doors and no windows, and all you have is a baseball bat. How do you get ou...
I'm A Chicken
Psychiatrist: What is your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has t...
Give the frog a loan
A frog walks into a bank and says "I wanna loan." "Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black's...
Be A Smoker!
Good News To All Smokers The International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes t...
Bad boy
One day there was a boy at school and his teacher told him to get 4 spelling words. 1st he went ...
Anna's mom....
Anna's mother has 3 kids... the youngest daughter's name is Penny... the middle daughter's name is N...
ABCP
On day there was a boy at school. He needed to go to the toilet. The teacher said "Say your ABCs fir...
ABC's
Student: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's. Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLM...
A duck
What does a duck like to eat? A quacker!...
A Shorty
Q. What is Black and White and Red all over? A. A Newspaper...
AMANDA!
WHAT ISA...
Another Chicken Joke
Why did the rabbit cross the road? - Chicken's day off!...
Ballerina
What did the ballerina do when she hurt her foot? She called the toe truck!...
Banana
What do you get when you cut a banana in two? A BANANA SPLIT!...
Black and White, and Red all over?
What is Black and White, and Red all over? Answer: A Skunk with a diaper rash....
Black Peas???
How did Black eye peas get their name? They were fighting over the Chick peas!...
Blue Elephants
1. How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. 2. How do you kill a pink elephant...
Bottom Start
Dad: The only way to acquire a new skill is to start at the bottom. Son: But I want to learn to s...
Cannibal and Clown
Q: What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal while eating the clown? A: "Does this taste fu...
Cars that Start
Can You name 3 Cars that start with P? Nope, they all start with Gas!...
Casket Talk
What did one casket say to the other ? Was that you coffin?...
Cat joke
What kind of cereal do cats eat? Mice Crispies! ...
Chickens
Two chickens were talking and one chicken said to a the other chicken "who is your favorite music co...
Cinderella
Why did the baseball coach throw Cinderella off the team? Because she ran away from the ball....
Clueless
Knock Knock Who's there? Ida Ida who? Ida know....
Count Down
What goes up when you count down? A Rocket Ship!...
Cow
What do you call a cow with no legs? GROUND BEEF!...
Cows Earthquake
Q. What do you get when a cow gets stuck in an Earth quake? A. A milk shake! ...
Crackers
Q:What do you get when a duck and a cow cross the road? A:Milk and Quackers...
Creation
Why did God give deers eyes? I have no eye-deer!...
Crew Cut
What do you call an Eagle Scout with a crew cut? A bald eagle!...
Cry Baby
Knock Knock... Who's There? Boo... Boo Who? Stop crying it's just a joke!...
Daffynition
Daffynition: Hummingbird- A bird who forgot the lines to a song!...
Door joke
When is a door not a door? When it is ajar....
Driving In Fog Riddle
Q: When driving through fog what should you use? A: Your car!...
Dwayne
Knock Knock! Who's There? Dwayne. Dwayne Who? Dwayne The Bathtub and I'm Dwowning!...
Ears
What kind of ear does a train have? an Engineer...
Elephant
What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? SWIMMING TRUNKS !!!...
Felines
Why are felines the best ever animals? Because they're purrrrrrrfect and grrrrrreat!...
Fish
Q: Why are fish in the sea smarter than animals on land. A: Because they travel in schools....
Fishy Talk
Q: How to communicate with a fish? A: Drop him a line!...
Flea Cure
Doctor, Doctor. Have you got anything that will cure fleas? Maybe, what made them sick?...
Football try-outs
Q: Why didn't the monster make the football team? A: Because he threw like a ghoul!...
Fruit joke!
What have an apple and an orange got in common? Neither of them can drive a tractor!...
Fruit of your Life
What did 1 strawberry say to another? Answer, if you weren't so fresh you wouldn't be in this jam...
Ghostly Giggle
Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie? Because you can see right through him....
Gum Crossing
Why did the gum cross the road? -it was stuck to the chickens foot!...
Heads and Tails
How is a dog's tail like the center of a tree? It's furthest from the bark!...
How do guys in jail.....
How do prisoners in jail talk to each other? With their cell phones!...
How do you make a tissue dance?
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it....
How many seconds are in a year?
How many seconds are in a year? Answer: There are 12 seconds in a year. January 2nd, February 2nd, M...
I'm a Dustbin
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin. Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish!...
I'm Hungry
Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry? A: Booger King!!!...
If a frog parks
Q. What happens when a forg parks illegaly? A. It gets toad!...
Jellybean
Why did the jellybean jump off the cliff ? Because he wanted to be a smarty!...
Knock Knock Biggish
Knock Knock Who's there? Biggish Biggish who? No Thank you! ...
Knock Knock Ketchup
Knock Knock Who's there? Ketchup Ketchup who? Catch up with me and I'll tell you!...
Knock Knock Wannup
Knock Knock Who's there? I wannup I wannup who? You do! I didn't need to know that!...
Knock knock... Luke
Knock Knock Whos there? Luke Luke who? Look through the keyhole and you will find out!...
Knock, Knock
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? DWAYNE THE TUB! I'M DWOWNING!...
Mayonaise
Q: What did the mayonsaise say to the refrigetrator? A: Shut the door, I'm dressing!...
Longest word
What's the longest word? Smiles! Why? Because it has a mile in it!...
Milk Truck
Q: What gives milk and has one horn? A: A milk truck!...
Mr. Clean
Did you here Mr. Clean is in the hospital? He has ammonia....
Mr. Owls
Knock knock. - Who's there? Owls. - Owls who? That's right! Owls hoo!...
Museum Funny!
Q: What did King Tut say to the museum? A: I want my mummy!...
New...
If you went to New York City for vacation and found eggs everywhere, what would the city's new name ...
Numbers
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!...
Nuts
Two Nuts Where Walking Down The Street. One Was A Salted! ...
One-eyed dinosaur
What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? A doyouthinkhesaurus!...
One-liners for kids
Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF? A: A watchdog! Q: Why do male deer need braces? A: Because t...
Panda Bear
What is black and white and red all over? A panda bear with diaper rash!...
Pantsy Golfer
Q: Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants? A: Just in case he got a hole-in-one!...
What's invisible & smells like carrots?
What's invisible & smells like carrots? Bunny Farts!...
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! (boom tish!!)...
What's the difference...
Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?? A: A teacher says "spit out that gum" a...
Which day does a fish hate?
Which day does a fish hate? Fryday...
Why Birds Fly South
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk!...
What kind of bunny.....
What kind of bunny drinks coffee? Mugs bunny!...
What do you call..
What do you call a guy who hangs around? Art!...
Turtle Crossing
Q: Why did the Turtle cross the road? A: To get to the shell station....
Tomato
Why did Mrs.Tomatoe turn red ? She saw Mr.Green Pea !...
Tired On 1 April
Why were the Scouts so tired on April 1? Because they had just finished a 31 day March!...
The Splatted Toad
Why did the toad cross the road? TO Show his girlfriend he has GUTS!...
The skeleton
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts!...
The rain cloud
What did the rain cloud where under his rain coat? Answer: Thunder wear!...
The Parting of the Red Sea
How did Moses part the Red Sea? With a seesaw!...
The Lettuce Joke
What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal? Lettuce alone!...
The Frustrated Bee
Why was the bee flying around with his legs crossed? He couldn't find a BP station!...
The Flashlight
Why did the little girl burry her flashlight? Because the batteries died....
The chicken
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!...
The Big Pencil
Question: What's the biggest pencil in the World? Answer: Pennsylvania!...
The Belt
Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants!...
The beach
How did the sand get wet? The sea weed!...
The Astronaut Joke
What did the astronaut see in his skillet pan? An Unidentified Frying Object!...
Stupid Elephant Jokes
How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the butter!...
Snowman and a vampire?
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frost-bite!...
Snail talk
Q. What did the snail say when he climbed onto the turtles back? A. WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
Smoking Dragon....
Q: What's the difference between the dinosaur and a dragon...? A: Dinosaurs are too young to SMOK...
Sleeping Bull
Q: What do you call a Sleeping Bull? A: A Bull-Dozer!...
Scary Seven
Whiy is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!...
Ribbet!
What is a frogs favorite drink? Croak-a-cola!...
Rabbit Catching
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up on him. Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit? A:...
Pirate Joke
What was the pirate movie rated? ARRRRRRR...