Dowcipy w kategorii Bar Jokes
BAR TROUBLESHOOTING CHART
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you ano...
Signs that you may be a drunk!
*** Signs that you "just might" have a drinking problem. *** You lose arguments with inanimate ob...
2 people walk into a bar...
2 people walk into a bar. The third one ducked....
The grasshopper joke!
So this grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Hey! Your a grasshopper! We h...
The Test!
A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "this ...
Too many beers
So I said "Hey man, that's my beer." Then he says, "No man, that's my beer." Then the beers ...
Trouble at the local bar...
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks ar...
Turnaround is fair play!
A guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman. After an hour of gathering up his courage he final...
What time does the bar open?
At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It ...
"Brrr!"
This guy walks into a pub with a gremlin sitting on his shoulder. He sits at the bar and orders a pi...
7 Shots of Vodka!
Man goes to the bar and says "bartender, give me 7 shots of Vodka." The bartender says "Ok, but pa...
Anything you want!
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy you...
Bad News
This man walks in a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of ...
Celebration
A young man walks up and sits at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6...
Curly Toes
Bert met Flo in a bar one night and began buying her drinks. They hit it off pretty well and soon Be...
Deaf Genie
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter. He asks the man,"Where did you get...
Who needs women
A man walks into the bar and orders 2 shots of whiskey and the man drinks one and pours the other sh...
Tough guy eh?
A man and his girlfriend are at a bar when the girl goes to the bathroom. When she comes back she's ...
The Telepathic Watch!
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives h...
The Punk and the Old Fart
There was an old man in a bar who was staring at a punk in the corner. The punk had multicolored, sp...
The Gay in the Bar
A gay guy walks into a bar and says "bartender give me a brewskie." The bartender says, "We don't...
The fully fledged alaskan
There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he wa...
The Fight!
Kelly limps into his favorite pub... My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as ...
The Crying Horse
One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that horse over there laugh you ...
The best bar in the world...
A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that ...
The Bar
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar: ------------------------------------...
The Ballerina
This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm,...
Suzy's Legs
There were three guys in a new bar that just openened and the bartender asked them what he should ca...
Strip Joint
Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His ...
Slammin 'em down!
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka." The barman says...
Six times Six
A woman goes into a bar real depressed and uses her last 10 dollars to buy a drink. All of a sudden ...
Ostrich & Pussy Cat
A man walked into a pub with an Ostrich and a Pussy Cat. He walked up the the bar and said "Beer for...
Measuring Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey ...
Man's best friend
Bartender looks down to the end of the bar and sees a guy with his head down who hasn't touched his ...
Little Bastard
Guy walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender. Reaching into his pants pocket, we pulls out a hun...
In the bar
A guy walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing chap. He chugs back a beer and says, "All the ...
I'm Cured!
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pan...
I Blew Chunks
3 guys go into a bar. The booze begins to flow pretty heavily in the course of the evening and the g...
Hippie in a Bar
This hippie walks into a bar, and thinks it's a restaurant. He walks up to the counter, and says to ...
Hard of Hearing Genie
OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the...
Girls Night Out
So ... the other day, my friends and I went to this "Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted ...
Fastest Thing In The World
There were 4 guys sitting in a bar. One of them decided to play a little game about what each of the...
A Horse walks into a Bar
A Horse walks into a bar: "Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"...
Bar Joke
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food h...
Bathroom reading material
Seen in a bar near here: "We don't stand in your toilet, so please don't pee on our floor!"...
Beer quote
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin...
Bouncer
Q. How many bouncers does it take to throw someone down the stairs? A. None! He fell....
Cheeseburger
A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says "Hey bartender give me a beer". The bartender says - "I...
Drink to Forget
Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."...
Skeleton Joke
A Skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer... and a mop....
The bar and chain.
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bar tender asks the man what he could get him and ...
A canadian in a Texas bar...
A Canadian is on vacation and walks into a bar. He sits on this HUGE stool and says to the bartende...
Bartender Help
An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and ...
Beers for everyone!
A guy walked into a bar and said "Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender." But when it was ti...
Betcha $500.00!
A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle's one eye is black and blue,...
Crawling Home
A guy was sitting in a bar, drinking away. Suddenly he says to the bartender, "I have to go home or ...
Donkey Woman!
A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar. ...
Drunk and The $20 Dollar Bills
It was New Year's Eve ... by then, actually, it was very early on New Year's morning. The drunk stag...
Dying Wives!
"I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never ma...
Give Me the Bill
Inebriated drinker says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the hous...
Good Samaritan
A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a tab...
Great reason to drink beer!
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is t...
In Just 3 Words...
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy you...
It looks like plastic.
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept ...
Just idle conversation...
A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation. He turns to bartender and says,...
Lager Prayer
Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, At ...
Panda in a Bar
A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I'd like a steak and kidney pie and a Cok...
Pocket Drinker
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After...
Singing Frog
A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't thi...
Snail Beer
A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and thro...
SOTALLY TOBER
starkle starkle little twink who the hell you are I think I'm not under what you call the alcoflu...
Speak
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog ...
The Dead Dog
There's a man and his wife who own a pub, and have a dog called Fido, who's 24, which is very old fo...
The Drunk and the Nun
There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk, I mean really ,really, really drunk. When ...
The drunk
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman sea...
The duck in the bar
A duck walks into a bar, sits down at the barstool, and waits for the bartender. The bartender w...
The Golden Toilet
There was this guy, let's call him bob. One night Bob went to about 5 bars, and he drank, like, 17 b...
BAR TROUBLESHOOTING CHART
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you ano...
Signs that you may be a drunk!
*** Signs that you "just might" have a drinking problem. *** You lose arguments with inanimate ob...
2 people walk into a bar...
2 people walk into a bar. The third one ducked....
The grasshopper joke!
So this grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Hey! Your a grasshopper! We h...
The Test!
A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "this ...
Too many beers
So I said "Hey man, that's my beer." Then he says, "No man, that's my beer." Then the beers ...
Trouble at the local bar...
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks ar...
Turnaround is fair play!
A guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman. After an hour of gathering up his courage he final...
What time does the bar open?
At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It ...
"Brrr!"
This guy walks into a pub with a gremlin sitting on his shoulder. He sits at the bar and orders a pi...
7 Shots of Vodka!
Man goes to the bar and says "bartender, give me 7 shots of Vodka." The bartender says "Ok, but pa...
Anything you want!
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy you...
Bad News
This man walks in a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of ...
Celebration
A young man walks up and sits at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6...
Curly Toes
Bert met Flo in a bar one night and began buying her drinks. They hit it off pretty well and soon Be...
Deaf Genie
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter. He asks the man,"Where did you get...
Who needs women
A man walks into the bar and orders 2 shots of whiskey and the man drinks one and pours the other sh...
Tough guy eh?
A man and his girlfriend are at a bar when the girl goes to the bathroom. When she comes back she's ...
The Telepathic Watch!
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives h...
The Punk and the Old Fart
There was an old man in a bar who was staring at a punk in the corner. The punk had multicolored, sp...
The Gay in the Bar
A gay guy walks into a bar and says "bartender give me a brewskie." The bartender says, "We don't...
The fully fledged alaskan
There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he wa...
The Fight!
Kelly limps into his favorite pub... My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as ...
The Crying Horse
One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that horse over there laugh you ...
The best bar in the world...
A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that ...
The Bar
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar: ------------------------------------...
The Ballerina
This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm,...
Suzy's Legs
There were three guys in a new bar that just openened and the bartender asked them what he should ca...
Strip Joint
Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His ...
Slammin 'em down!
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka." The barman says...
Six times Six
A woman goes into a bar real depressed and uses her last 10 dollars to buy a drink. All of a sudden ...
Ostrich & Pussy Cat
A man walked into a pub with an Ostrich and a Pussy Cat. He walked up the the bar and said "Beer for...
Measuring Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey ...
Man's best friend
Bartender looks down to the end of the bar and sees a guy with his head down who hasn't touched his ...
Little Bastard
Guy walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender. Reaching into his pants pocket, we pulls out a hun...
In the bar
A guy walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing chap. He chugs back a beer and says, "All the ...
I'm Cured!
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pan...
I Blew Chunks
3 guys go into a bar. The booze begins to flow pretty heavily in the course of the evening and the g...
Hippie in a Bar
This hippie walks into a bar, and thinks it's a restaurant. He walks up to the counter, and says to ...
Hard of Hearing Genie
OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the...
Girls Night Out
So ... the other day, my friends and I went to this "Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted ...
Fastest Thing In The World
There were 4 guys sitting in a bar. One of them decided to play a little game about what each of the...
A Horse walks into a Bar
A Horse walks into a bar: "Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"...
Bar Joke
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food h...
Bathroom reading material
Seen in a bar near here: "We don't stand in your toilet, so please don't pee on our floor!"...
Beer quote
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin...
Bouncer
Q. How many bouncers does it take to throw someone down the stairs? A. None! He fell....
Cheeseburger
A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says "Hey bartender give me a beer". The bartender says - "I...
Drink to Forget
Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."...
Skeleton Joke
A Skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer... and a mop....
The bar and chain.
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bar tender asks the man what he could get him and ...
A canadian in a Texas bar...
A Canadian is on vacation and walks into a bar. He sits on this HUGE stool and says to the bartende...
Bartender Help
An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and ...
Beers for everyone!
A guy walked into a bar and said "Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender." But when it was ti...
Betcha $500.00!
A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle's one eye is black and blue,...
Crawling Home
A guy was sitting in a bar, drinking away. Suddenly he says to the bartender, "I have to go home or ...
Donkey Woman!
A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar. ...
Drunk and The $20 Dollar Bills
It was New Year's Eve ... by then, actually, it was very early on New Year's morning. The drunk stag...
Dying Wives!
"I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never ma...
Give Me the Bill
Inebriated drinker says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the hous...
Good Samaritan
A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a tab...
Great reason to drink beer!
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is t...
In Just 3 Words...
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy you...
It looks like plastic.
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept ...
Just idle conversation...
A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation. He turns to bartender and says,...
Lager Prayer
Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, At ...
Panda in a Bar
A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I'd like a steak and kidney pie and a Cok...
Pocket Drinker
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After...
Singing Frog
A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't thi...
Snail Beer
A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and thro...
SOTALLY TOBER
starkle starkle little twink who the hell you are I think I'm not under what you call the alcoflu...
Speak
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog ...
The Dead Dog
There's a man and his wife who own a pub, and have a dog called Fido, who's 24, which is very old fo...
The Drunk and the Nun
There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk, I mean really ,really, really drunk. When ...
The drunk
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman sea...
The duck in the bar
A duck walks into a bar, sits down at the barstool, and waits for the bartender. The bartender w...
The Golden Toilet
There was this guy, let's call him bob. One night Bob went to about 5 bars, and he drank, like, 17 b...