Dowcipy w kategorii Animals
Dog Named Mypenis
Tired of boring old dog name like Ruff, Spot, Lassie, etc? The next time you get a dog, name it: My...
Elephant Jokes Eight
Q: Why do elephants have trunks? A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments. Q: Wh...
Elephant Riddles Seven
Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts? ...
The little puppy
One day there was a little puppy dog laying beside one of the rails on a railroad track. He fell ...
Bzzzzz!!
What does a bee do with it's stinger before he goes to bed??? He put's it in his honey!!...
Chicken and the Egg
So, the chicken and the egg were in bed, the chicken is sitting up, smoking a cigarette, and says "W...
Crossed
What do you get when you put a Gay guy and a dinosaur together? A:> A MegasaurASS...
Crossing
Question: Why did the hamster cross the road? Answer: Because it was stuck in the Chicken's ass!...
Dinosaurs
Whats a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss ! Whats a gay dinosaur? A lickdicknopuss !...
FROG
What did one Lesbian frog say to the other Lesbian frog? You know what...we DO taste like chicken...
Have you Ever...
Have you ever smelled mothballs???? I was just wondering how you would get their little legs open...
Lesbian Frogs
What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? MMmmmm, tastes like chicken!...
Lonely Cow in Field
Q: What do you call a cow in the middle of a field spanking his monkey? A: Beef Stroganoff...
Mice in a lightbulb?
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two...but I don't know how they'd get i...
Ms. Piggy Counts
Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? A: Because she has a frog in her throat at 69!...
New dinosaur found!
Q: What do you get when you mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A: A Lickalotapuss!...
No Brakes
Did you ever hear about Blitzen the Brown nosed reindeer? He is twice as fast as Rudolf but doesn...
Pantyhose
Q. How many animals can you get into one pair of pantyhose? A. Several. Ten little piggies, two ...
Rooster and Peanut Butter
What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of you...
Skunks
What do you call a pair of skunks that are 69'ing? OdorEaters!!!...
Soup you don't want to eat
What do you call a masterbating bull? Beef strokin'off....
The Best Time?
When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When a rotteweiler is f**king your leg....
The Walrus
Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties? To find a tight Seal....
What do you call a dog...
What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles? SPARKY!!!...
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
What do you call a gay dinosaur? A megasorass....
A Hippo What?
3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was...
Bad Dog!
A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's...
Bear and Squirrel
Deep in the woods sat a bear and a squirrel at the communal latrine. "Hmmm" says the bear to the squ...
Bill The Duck
A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, "Gimme a chap stick." The pharmacist as...
Bloodied Vampire
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceili...
Boy Sees Elephant
Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of anima...
Bull Talk
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ra...
Talking Dog
A guy walks into a bar with his dog. They both go up to the barstool and sit down. The owner orders ...
The Brown and White Cows!
There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so borrowed h...
The captain and the camel
A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noti...
The Chicken and The Egg
A Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed one night. The chicken smoking a cigarette with a smug grin o...
The Enchanted Snake
It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle tha...
The fly
The setting is a quiet and serence country stream weaving through the gentle hills of a grassy plain...
The Fowl-Mouthed Parrot!
A woman was walking down the street past a pet shop, and when she looked in the window there was a g...
The great rabbit escape!
A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.As ...
The Little Boy Who Was Stomping
One day, a little boy, was outside in the backyard stomping on honeybees. When his father came ou...
The moral of the story is...
See there was this fish, and this fish was watching a fly, the fish wanted the fly to drop six inche...
The Road Runner
The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners ar...
The Very Special Parrot!
A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife. So he asked the salesman for so...
Three Dogs
There were three dogs at the vet talking to each other when one says,"I chewed up all my masters sho...
Tough Mice
There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes a shot of tequilla, slams the gl...
Ventriloquist and the Indian
A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he'll hav...
Warning: Ignore the parrot!
On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks t...
Whale of a Story
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when they noticed a whaling sh...
Smitty the Parrot's Birthday
Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?" Smitty says, "I want to g...
Sex With Gorilla
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female,...
Screwing Rooster
There was a farmer. He had alot of chickens but had no roosters. So in order to get eggs he went...
Rubbit the Rabbit
A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land an...
Red Riding Hood
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind...
Rabbit and Bear
A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do yo...
Praying Parrots
A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female...
Pink Parts
One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this ...
No Sex on the Ark!
When the Ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said w...
Missy in heat
Angela went up to her mom and ask if she could take missy for a walk. Her mom said no, that missy w...
Miss Muffet
Little miss muffet... sat on her tuffet... eating her kurds and way. Along came a spider, who sa...
Lisping Midget
A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him...
I Like Monkeys
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normal...
Hungry Rooster
A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out fr...
Huey, Dewy, and Puddles
A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a ...
Horny Rooster
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was ho...
Horny Mouse
One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being ra...
Frog on the head
A man walks into a doctors office one day with a frog on his head. He sits down and the doctor sa...
Elephant With Thorn
An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn in her foot. She is in absolute agon...
Elephant Fall Into a Deep Pit
This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into ...
Elephant Experiment
Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's ba...
Duck shopper
A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom. The sales person comes back with the condo...
Donald Duck
Donald Duck walked into a drugstore & asked for a packet of condoms. "Certainly, sir" said the la...
Dog story
A veterinarian got a phone call at midnight one night. The woman on the other end of the phone sa...
Circus Elephant
There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd ...
Chicken and the Egg
There was a chicken and a egg laying in bed together. The chicken has a satisfied look on her fac...
Whales
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling shi...
Dog Named Mypenis
Tired of boring old dog name like Ruff, Spot, Lassie, etc? The next time you get a dog, name it: My...
Elephant Jokes Eight
Q: Why do elephants have trunks? A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments. Q: Wh...
Elephant Riddles Seven
Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts? ...
The little puppy
One day there was a little puppy dog laying beside one of the rails on a railroad track. He fell ...
Bzzzzz!!
What does a bee do with it's stinger before he goes to bed??? He put's it in his honey!!...
Chicken and the Egg
So, the chicken and the egg were in bed, the chicken is sitting up, smoking a cigarette, and says "W...
Crossed
What do you get when you put a Gay guy and a dinosaur together? A:> A MegasaurASS...
Crossing
Question: Why did the hamster cross the road? Answer: Because it was stuck in the Chicken's ass!...
Dinosaurs
Whats a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss ! Whats a gay dinosaur? A lickdicknopuss !...
FROG
What did one Lesbian frog say to the other Lesbian frog? You know what...we DO taste like chicken...
Have you Ever...
Have you ever smelled mothballs???? I was just wondering how you would get their little legs open...
Lesbian Frogs
What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? MMmmmm, tastes like chicken!...
Lonely Cow in Field
Q: What do you call a cow in the middle of a field spanking his monkey? A: Beef Stroganoff...
Mice in a lightbulb?
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two...but I don't know how they'd get i...
Ms. Piggy Counts
Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? A: Because she has a frog in her throat at 69!...
New dinosaur found!
Q: What do you get when you mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A: A Lickalotapuss!...
No Brakes
Did you ever hear about Blitzen the Brown nosed reindeer? He is twice as fast as Rudolf but doesn...
Pantyhose
Q. How many animals can you get into one pair of pantyhose? A. Several. Ten little piggies, two ...
Rooster and Peanut Butter
What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of you...
Skunks
What do you call a pair of skunks that are 69'ing? OdorEaters!!!...
Soup you don't want to eat
What do you call a masterbating bull? Beef strokin'off....
The Best Time?
When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When a rotteweiler is f**king your leg....
The Walrus
Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties? To find a tight Seal....
What do you call a dog...
What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles? SPARKY!!!...
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
What do you call a gay dinosaur? A megasorass....
A Hippo What?
3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was...
Bad Dog!
A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's...
Bear and Squirrel
Deep in the woods sat a bear and a squirrel at the communal latrine. "Hmmm" says the bear to the squ...
Bill The Duck
A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, "Gimme a chap stick." The pharmacist as...
Bloodied Vampire
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceili...
Boy Sees Elephant
Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of anima...
Bull Talk
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ra...
Talking Dog
A guy walks into a bar with his dog. They both go up to the barstool and sit down. The owner orders ...
The Brown and White Cows!
There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so borrowed h...
The captain and the camel
A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noti...
The Chicken and The Egg
A Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed one night. The chicken smoking a cigarette with a smug grin o...
The Enchanted Snake
It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle tha...
The fly
The setting is a quiet and serence country stream weaving through the gentle hills of a grassy plain...
The Fowl-Mouthed Parrot!
A woman was walking down the street past a pet shop, and when she looked in the window there was a g...
The great rabbit escape!
A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.As ...
The Little Boy Who Was Stomping
One day, a little boy, was outside in the backyard stomping on honeybees. When his father came ou...
The moral of the story is...
See there was this fish, and this fish was watching a fly, the fish wanted the fly to drop six inche...
The Road Runner
The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners ar...
The Very Special Parrot!
A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife. So he asked the salesman for so...
Three Dogs
There were three dogs at the vet talking to each other when one says,"I chewed up all my masters sho...
Tough Mice
There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes a shot of tequilla, slams the gl...
Ventriloquist and the Indian
A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he'll hav...
Warning: Ignore the parrot!
On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks t...
Whale of a Story
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when they noticed a whaling sh...
Smitty the Parrot's Birthday
Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?" Smitty says, "I want to g...
Sex With Gorilla
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female,...
Screwing Rooster
There was a farmer. He had alot of chickens but had no roosters. So in order to get eggs he went...
Rubbit the Rabbit
A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land an...
Red Riding Hood
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind...
Rabbit and Bear
A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do yo...
Praying Parrots
A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female...
Pink Parts
One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this ...
No Sex on the Ark!
When the Ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said w...
Missy in heat
Angela went up to her mom and ask if she could take missy for a walk. Her mom said no, that missy w...
Miss Muffet
Little miss muffet... sat on her tuffet... eating her kurds and way. Along came a spider, who sa...
Lisping Midget
A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him...
I Like Monkeys
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normal...
Hungry Rooster
A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out fr...
Huey, Dewy, and Puddles
A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a ...
Horny Rooster
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was ho...
Horny Mouse
One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being ra...
Frog on the head
A man walks into a doctors office one day with a frog on his head. He sits down and the doctor sa...
Elephant With Thorn
An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn in her foot. She is in absolute agon...
Elephant Fall Into a Deep Pit
This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into ...
Elephant Experiment
Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's ba...
Duck shopper
A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom. The sales person comes back with the condo...
Donald Duck
Donald Duck walked into a drugstore & asked for a packet of condoms. "Certainly, sir" said the la...
Dog story
A veterinarian got a phone call at midnight one night. The woman on the other end of the phone sa...
Circus Elephant
There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd ...
Chicken and the Egg
There was a chicken and a egg laying in bed together. The chicken has a satisfied look on her fac...
Whales
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling shi...